You’ll need to make arrangements for your children if you split up from your partner.

A court won’t let you divorce or dissolve a civil partnership until you can show you’ve arranged things like:

• where the children will live
• when they'll spend time with each parent
• who’ll pay child maintenance

You’ll usually need to prove that you’ve considered mediation before you go to court.

Get legal advice

Find a solicitor if you need to get legal advice.

You must usually meet with a mediator before you can go to court.

Mediation is when an independent and impartial third party discusses a problem with you and your ex-partner to try and find a solution.

You may be able to get legal aid for mediation.

Find your local mediator by searching using your postcode.

You need to fill in a ‘Family Mediation Information and Assessment form’ to show that you’ve considered mediation. Your mediator or legal adviser may be able to help you fill out the form, or you can do it yourself.

Download 'Family Mediation Information and Assessment form' (PDF, 228KB)

You can apply for a single court order, or a number of them, depending on what you’ve been unable to agree on.

Where your child will live

A ‘residence order’ is used to decide where your child will live, and which parent they’ll live with.

Seeing your child if you don’t live with them

A ‘contact order’ is used to decide when you can see your child, eg:

• at weekends
• during school holidays

Your child’s upbringing

A ‘specific issue order’ is used to look at a specific question about how the child is being brought up, eg:

• what school they go to
• if they should have a religious education

You can also apply for a ‘prohibited steps order’ to stop the other parent from making a decision about the child’s upbringing.

Who can apply

The child’s mother, father or anyone with parental responsibility can apply for a court order.

Other people, like grandparents, can apply for these court orders, but they'll need to get permission from the courts first.

Follow these steps to apply for a court order.

1. Read the guidance on making an application (PDF, 283KB).

2. Fill in the C100 court form.

3. Send it to your nearest court that deals with cases involving children.

It costs £215 to apply for a court order.

You may be able to get help with court fees if you're on benefits or a low income.

The court will arrange a ‘directions hearing’ with both parents if you apply for a court order.

There will usually be a family court adviser from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass) at the hearing.

Cafcass will send you information before the hearing - they'll usually ring you too.

At the hearing, a judge or magistrate will try to work out:

• what you can agree
• what you can’t agree
• if your child is at risk in any way

They’ll encourage you to reach an agreement if it’s in the child’s best interests. If you can, and there are no concerns about the child’s welfare, the judge or magistrate can end the process.

The court will make a consent order which sets out what you have agreed, if it’s necessary.

If you can’t agree at the first court hearing

The judge or magistrate will set a timetable for what happens next.

They may ask you to try again to reach an agreement - eg by going to a meeting with a mediator.

You may have to go on a course if your case is about contact issues. The course is called a ‘Separated Parents Information Programme’, and could help you find a way to make contact arrangements work.

You usually have to go to 2 meetings. Your ex-partner won’t be at the same meetings as you.

Download 'Separated Parents Information Programme' (PDF, 401KB)

If you reach an agreement at any stage, the judge or magistrate can stop the process.

Cafcass reports

The court can ask Cafcass to provide a report on your case to help decide what’s best for the child.

The Cafcass officer may ask your child about their feelings. You’ll get a copy of the report when it’s written.

What judges and magistrates consider

They’ll always put the welfare of children first. They will think about the:

• child’s wishes and feelings
• child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
• effect any changes may have on the child
• child’s age, gender, characteristics and background
• possible risk of harm to the child
• ability of parents to meet the child’s needs
• orders the court has the power to make

A judge or magistrate will only make an order if they think it's in the child's best interests.